love x scarter

Yes, people are busy. I get that now more than ever as a mom.

We’re all juggling something — kids, careers, mental health, personal battles that no one sees. So no, not everyone is going to remember your child’s birthday. Not everyone will check in when you’re silent. Not everyone will respond to your updates or match your emotional energy. And truthfully?

That’s okay.

Not everyone is meant to show up in the same way you do. Not everyone has the capacity — or the desire — to meet you where you are. And that doesn’t automatically make them bad people.

But here’s what I  had to learn: It’s not your job to keep overextending yourself and then get upset when people don’t return the same emergency.

Because that’s what I used to do. I’d pour out effort, attention, love, time — making space for people in my life who didn’t always do the same for me. And when they didn’t show up the way I hoped? I’d feel hurt. Disappointed. Unseen.

But the truth is: they didn’t ask me to give that much. I chose to.
And I kept choosing to — thinking that if I loved harder, showed up more, stayed consistent — eventually they’d match my energy.

Spoiler alert: They didn’t.

And I finally realized… I was exhausting myself for people who wouldn’t even notice if I stopped trying.

Motherhood teaches you that peace is more than just quiet — it’s emotional safety. It’s knowing where your energy is welcome and where it’s wasted. It’s surrounding yourself with people who make you feel loved, not depleted.

So if that means loving people from a distance, that’s okay.
If it means setting boundaries where there used to be open doors, that’s okay too.
If it means showing up less — for others — so you can show up more for yourself and your child, that’s not selfish. That’s growth.

You’re not bitter.
You’re not cold.
You’re just done breaking your own heart trying to keep others comfortable.

Protecting your peace isn’t pushing people away — it’s honoring the version of you that finally knows what she needs.

And she deserves to be protected too.

Love,

S.Carter