A few months ago, I told my husband I wanted to put our daughter in daycare. She was almost two, full of energy, and always on the move. I felt like it was time — for her and for me. But he was completely against it. He wasn’t ready, and he had a lot of trust issues when it came to leaving her with anyone outside of family.
For him, daycare felt like too much, too soon. For me, it felt like survival.
I work from home, and as much as I love having her close, it was becoming impossible to balance both worlds. Every time I sat down to work, she wanted to be held, played with, or cuddled. And while I cherished those moments, I was also drowning — trying to be everything at once. The guilt was heavy, and the exhaustion even heavier. I was falling behind at work and having quiet breakdowns just to release the pressure I didn’t want to admit I was under.
I didn’t want daycare because I wanted to be away from her.
I wanted daycare because I needed help — I needed space to breathe and show up as my best self again.
Still, I had to understand my husband’s side. He wasn’t trying to be controlling — he was scared. This was his little girl, his heart walking around outside his body. The thought of handing her over to strangers felt unbearable.
At first, I took it personally. I felt like he was dismissing how overwhelmed I was. But once I really listened, I realized it wasn’t about him not trusting me — it was about him struggling to trust the world with something so precious.
It wasn’t selfish to want help, but it also wasn’t fair to ignore his feelings just because mine felt louder in the moment. We were both trying to protect our family — just in different ways.
After a few long talks, we decided to start touring daycares together. That step alone helped us feel more united.
We visited a few schools, and our preferences showed our personalities. I liked the bright, open, bigger schools — uniforms, color, and structure. He leaned toward smaller, more intimate programs — no uniforms, fewer kids, and a homey feel.
Eventually, we found one that felt right for both of us. It was close to home, had a drop-in camera system so we could check in anytime, and the director made us feel completely at ease. Her calm, genuine energy sealed it for us — we left feeling something we hadn’t in a while: secure.
That was the moment we knew we’d found THE place.
Looking back, I realize the daycare decision was never just about childcare — it was about communication, trust, and learning to meet each other in the middle.
Marriage and parenthood will test you in ways you never expect. But one thing I’ve learned is that you always have to hear the other person out. Even when you don’t agree, even when your emotions are high — listen. You’re not fighting each other; you’re fighting for each other.
Because at the end of the day, you both want the same thing — what’s best for your family and your kids. ❤️
Love,
S.Carter
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